


Downward Spiral

by I_Wish_To_Remain_Nameless



Series: SCP 6532 - Mob [7]
Category: SCP Foundation, モブサイコ100 | Mob Psycho 100
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Bad Decisions, Canon-Typical Violence, Diary/Journal, Existential Angst, Gen, Self-Hatred, Spoons, Swearing, Teenage Rebellion, for the MP100 canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24897754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Wish_To_Remain_Nameless/pseuds/I_Wish_To_Remain_Nameless
Summary: Ritsu awakens his powers, and proceeds to ruin his life.
Relationships: Kageyama Ritsu & Kageyama "Mob" Shigeo
Series: SCP 6532 - Mob [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644904
Comments: 14
Kudos: 74





	Downward Spiral

9-3-12

I got another confession today. That makes, what, five this year? Six, actually. I went back and checked. I did my best to let her down gently. Just like the last five girls. I wonder if I rejected her harshly, would I stop getting confessions? No, I shouldn't even joke about that. It's just I really don't need romance complicating my life right now. Anyway they're in love with Ritsu the school idol, and not me. I'd just be a disappointment. I hate how fake I am. It's incredibly lonely when no one knows the real you. Even my parents barely know me. I've been playing the perfect son for four years now. It's hard sometimes, but as their only surviving child it's my responsibility to achieve enough to make up for my brother's absence. My parents have already been through so much. They don't need me burdening them with my problems.

The nightmares have been worse lately.I think it might be the stress. Since joining the student council I've had to perform even more than usual. I can only drop my facade when I'm alone. It's exhausting.

Sometimes I feel like a wind-up boy. Just going through the motions expected of me. Sounds like a side show act. Come one, come all and see Ritsu the incredible wind-up boy. Just turn the key and watch him go.

Anyway, what I want to know is what is it all for? I study at middle school so I can get into a good highschool where I'll study to get into a good college where I'll study and study so I can get a good job where I'll work until I retire or more likely die of stress while I try to tick off the boxes for success. Marriage, promotion, children, home-ownership... When I die they'll probably put something on my tombstone like "Here lies Kageyama Ritsu. He was a model citizen." Just like that I'll have lived and died without anyone truly knowing me.

I don't want to go on like this.

9-5-12

I helped frame a delinquent today. We put recorder mouthpieces in his desk. Now everyone at school thinks he's a sicko who gets off by licking girls recorders. He would have gotten out of it but I put some mouthpieces in his bag. 

Afterwards Kamuro congratulated me on my quick thinking. Still I can't help but feel bad. We ruined that delinquent's reputation for something he didn't even do. He'll be in the muck for the rest of his life while our hands remain clean. More than that we are regarded as heros for solving a problem we caused. I feel sick.

If my brother knew what I'd done he'd be so disappointed in me. This is just more proof that my brother was a better person than I could ever hope to be. I'm bitter, resentful and fake where my brother was sweet, and forgiving and genuine. It's not fair. Why I am I still here when he is not?

9-6-12

I bent my first spoon today. I'm crying tears of joy right now. I was starting to think I'd never be able to do it. I shouldn't have doubted myself. My brother said I'd be able to do it someday and he knew more about magic than anyone else I've ever met. What sort of brother am I? I'd even had the audacity to doubt that my brother had been magic. Nobody else ever brought it up so I started to wonder if I just had an overactive imagination as a kid. But now I know it was real. My brother was magic and now I am too, I guess. Homework can wait. I'm going to bend all the spoons in the house now.

9-7-12

It's a shame I don't really have any close friends. I should probably tell someone about this whole "awakening my powers" thing. Just to make sure I haven't finally snapped from the stress or something. But who should I tell? Obviously my parents are off the table since I don't want to trouble them. I can't go to the student council either. Kamuro wouldn't take me seriously and Tokagawa would just ask prying questions about stuff like my mental well-being. There's no one I can talk to about this. Except that's not quite true. There is one person who will take me seriously if I ask about magic. The only problem is I don't like Takane Tsubomi. She's aloof and cold. One time, when we were kids, she made my brother cry. Still, my brother must have liked her for some reason because he showed her his powers.

*

_"This had better not be a love confession," Tsubomi said, one hand on her hip._

_"I already told you, it's not," Ritsu said, annoyed._

_"So, what did you want to ask me?" she asked._

_"Do you remember how my brother used to do magic?"_

_Tsubomi tilted her head and said "Sure. Why do you ask?"_

_In response, Ritsu took a spoon from his pocket and twisted it into a corkscrew shape without touching it._

_"Huh," Tsubomi said "I guess it runs in the family, then."_

_"You're awfully calm about this," Ritsu said an accusatory edge to his voice._

_Tsubomi shrugged "I saw Mob do that sort of thing all the time when we were kids. It wasn't that impressive then and it's not that impressive now."_

_"That was real magic!" Ritsu said "How is that not impressive?"_

_"It's not like it was hard for him or anything. Just something he could do. I would have been more impressed if he learned some card tricks to show me. Still," Tsubomi continued, more somberly "I realize I should have been nicer about it. I'm sorry."_

_"You're apologizing to the wrong person," Ritsu said icily "Not to mention that you're far too late."_

_"I know," Tsubomi said "It sucks. What happened to him."_

_"Yeah," Ritsu croaked "It really sucks."_

*

9-8-12

Well now that I've confirmed that I am not crazy, It's time to see what else I can do. A whole lot more then bend spoons apparently. I can move stuff with my mind, light and extinguish candles without touching them, and repair small objects with my will alone. I'll probably use the telekinesis most. Opening and closing the curtains remotely is likely to come in handy and looks very cool.

Awakening my powers is probably the best thing that's happened to me in years. Magic powers are something I've wanted my whole life and finally having them is like a dream come true.

9-10-12

I know I'm not getting back to sleep tonight so I might as well write. I had a really bad nightmare. The thing that is not my brother grabbed my hands. No matter how I struggled I couldn't break it's grip. Staticky shadows crawled up my arms from where it's hands touched me. When I woke up I still felt like my whole body was covered in static. Like always, I told myself it was just a bad dream and that the thing that is not my brother is probably just a metaphor for the inevitability of death or the cruel uncaring nature of the universe or something. But then I recalled the event that everybody tells me didn't happen. Even if we ignore all the impossible stuff my brother did when we were kids, I can do things most people wouldn't think possible. That's more than enough evidence to prove that the world doesn't work the way I thought it did. It's probably full of things that go against science and just straight up common sense. Who can say that that thing didn't get up when those highschoolers knocked my brother out? I certainly can't. How am I supposed to dispel my fears now that I know the impossible can happen?

What if it comes back?

Maybe I can use these powers to protect myself.

I'll need to train a lot. I can't even hope to take that thing on as I am now. I'll take every chance I can get to change that. I need to be strong so if I ever meet that thing again I can avenge my brother.

Later: At school today I helped Kamuro frame more delinquents. I felt awful all day after that. My powers were much easier to use when I tried using them after school today. That's when I realized what the source of my power is. It's my guilt. They run on my guilt. They first manifested after I ruined Onigawara's reputation, and they were stronger today when I felt like garbage.

Just my luck. Guilt is such a sucky emotion to draw power from. It would be much cooler if they were powered by love or something nice like that. It looks like I'll have to accumulate more guilt if I want to get strong enough to fight the thing that is not my brother. I may as well continue to help Kamuro with what he calls the Big Clean-Up. It certainly makes me feel awful enough. If that's not enough then I'll try something else. I hope it's enough.

9-14-12

Some delinquents tried to beat me up on my way home from school. The key word here being tried. My magic powers caught them off guard so they didn't stand a chance against me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It makes sense that they'd resent Kamuro and me for taking away their place. Kamuro doesn't have magic powers so he might have a harder time defending himself. I can't say this bothers me too much. He deserves it. Honestly, I deserve to get beaten up too but there's no justice in this world. If there was my brother would still be alive.

9-17-12

I stood in the hallway and said that if anyone has a problem with the student council they should feel free to take it up with me after school today. But in a way that clearly signaled a desire to fight. Kamuro actually showed some concern for me after that. A few people took me up on my offer but I was able do beat them fairly easily. I'm probably going to regret this later.

It looks like the student delinquent population decided my offer extends to include Kamuro. I found him lying on the ground in the alley near the school. He's yelled at me but I just told him if he didn't want to get stung he shouldn't have kicked the hornet's nest. "You're the one who kicked the hornets nest!" he sputtered. "No,"I replied "I'm the hornet's nest."

Then I left him there lying among the garbage. It's true. There's always been something in me that wants to sting people when they bothered me. Part of me that resented having to put aside my own feelings for the sake of others. It fostered grudges that festered away inside of my hollow heart, buzzing, buzzing. I have finally dropped the facade and revealed my base nature. I destroyed the fake perfect me. The resulting guilt is almost a relief. I no longer have to pretend to be something I'm not. I'm sorry brother. This is who I really am. A failure and a fool.

9-19-12

Something strange happened on my way home today. A delinquent pulled me aside. That in itself is not that strange, but they weren't from my school. Judging by his uniform he was probably from Black Vinegar Middle. He had bleached hair and I think he was wearing contacts. "Come with me," he said "I'd like to have a word with you."

I knew what he probably meant, but I was confident I could take him on so I followed him. He lead me down an alleyway.

"Who are you and what do you want to talk about?" I asked readying myself for a fight.

"Call me Teru. I just wanted to offer a bit of friendly advice,"He said with an insufferably smug look on his face"You're heading down a dangerous path, and you should turn back before it is too late. Stop using your powers to lord it over the commoners."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm nobody special," I said.

"That's a nice act," he said condescendingly "Are you going to keep it up when the G.O.C. comes for your ass 'cause you don't know how to cover your tracks."

"What the hell are you talking about?"I replied.

He looked at me like I was stupid and said "They're just one of the many parties you'd be better off avoiding the attention of. I'd be more careful if I were you."

"Thanks, but I don't take constructive criticism." I said as I turned and walked away. I couldn't get out of the alley. It just kept going.

"I won't let you leave before I get it through that thick skull of yours." He said from close behind me. He turned me around to face him and gave me something I think he considered a sympathetic smile but just made him look unbearably smug "I understand. I used to be a lot like you. With powers like ours it's easy to think yourself above consequences but that just isn't true. This isn't a game."

His condescending tone made me so furious I punched him. "Shut up, you smug, self-superior bastard! You think I don't know that?"

"Oh, so you want a fight?"He said, striking a pigeon-toed stance "Then I'll give you a fight."

I fought valiantly and managed to land several blows, but he came at me viciously and without mercy. When I refused to admit defeat, he kept attacking until I was too sore to move.

He gave me one last cold look and said "I don't care what happens to you anymore. Just don't say I didn't warn you." Then he walked away, leaving me alone on the cracked concrete.

When I was finally able to get up again the alley had been restored to it's normal length and I was able to limp home. This experience taught me two important things. firstly that me and my brother are not the only people who can do magic. Secondly how weak I still am. Teru used his powers in ways I had never even considered. I need to get stronger so I'm ready to face the thing that is not my brother when the time comes.

9-21-12

I'm writing this in my brother's room. Leaving footprints in the dust that settled over the last four and a half years almost feels like trespassing. I'm the first person to come in here since he died. All his stuff is still where he left it. There's a book on his shelf with a bookmark halfway through it. His room gives me the same feeling he did, all warm and bubbly and hopeful. I still miss him so much and I'll keep missing him for the rest of my life.

I came here to remind myself what I'm doing all this training for. My brother was the kindest, most gentle person I ever knew. There is no justice in this cruel, nonsensical world but I will fight tooth and nail to avenge the injustice of his premature death. I'll to whatever it takes to succeed in this endeavor.

_That was the last entry written before Ritsu's disappearance. The rest of the journal is blank._

As much as he hates to admit it, Ritsu knows he has failed. Not just his brother, but his parents as well. They must be so worried about him. He wonders if he'll every see them again.

Maybe he should have payed Teru's warnings more mind. Guy was undoubtedly a smug asshole, but maybe if Ritsu had listened to him instead of punching him he wouldn't have ended up in this hellhole.

He hates it here. Hates the blank white walls of his cell. Hates the pervasive deadness in the air that stops him from using his powers. Hates the annoying people with clipboards who periodically drop by to ask him prying questions.

When the opportunity to escape presents itself of course he jumps at it. The deadness is considerably lighter outside his cell. Nobody pays him much mind amid the chaos in the hallways. Unfortunately he has no idea where the exit to this place even is. He eventually decides the best course of action is to head away from the screaming. That'll keep him out of the worst of it at least. Maybe if he's lucky he'll find a map of the facility. _Who am I kidding?_ he thinks _When have I ever been lucky?_

The path of less screaming seems to be leading him to a lower security part of the facility at least. He's surprised to see a couple guards shepherding a group of teenagers into a room with heavy looking doors. Ritsu approaches stealthily to get a closer look. Are they prisoners here too? No, they seem far to cooperative for that. A bit scared perhaps but not of the guards. Ritsu is reminded of students being lead to the gym because of a hurricane warning. Maybe it's something like that.

Soon the teens have finished filing into the room and the doors close with a heavy _thunk_.

Only one teen and two guards remain outside. When they start heading in Ritsu's direction he ducks round a corner and tries not to draw attention to himself. He has to stifle a gasp when they walk past his hiding place. The teenager is his brother. It can't be. But even after five years that quiet unobtrusive presence is unmistakable.

He wants to hug his brother, to tell him how much he missed him, to find out how he spent the last five years. But he hesitates. He thinks he can take on two guards, but if they're assigned to his brother they must have a way of countering magic. Besides, what if his brother is working for the enemy? He seems awfully amenable for a prisoner. Ritsu is so busy thinking about his brother that he doesn't notice the security agents coming down the hall until it is too late.

Back in his cell Ritsu feels an all to familiar feeling of dread creep over him. The world is thin and warped like a VHS that has been played too many times and he knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that the thing that is not his brother is nearby. The deadness of his cell pulls back like the ocean before a catastrophic tsunami and buzzing, unnatural energy replaces it. Ritsu wants to scream, wants to hide, wants to get as far away as possible, but his fear clogs his throat and stops him in his tracks. It wouldn't be much use, anyway. He closes his eyes and braces himself for an impact that never comes. After what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few minutes, something in the atmosphere shifts and everything around him slots back into place. The relief is enough to make him cry.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending should make more sense after the next part.  
> Discord for this AU:https://discord.gg/er9NHwF


End file.
